Liz Ackert (imgoingtotexas.blogspot.com) posted a bit about backing up her blog which touched a long buried worry in me. I have been blogging since 2007, although I am only approaching my 400th post, which shows that my output is irregular, and I have never saved any of it. My computer expertise, such as it is, is very narrow; I don't have much general knowledge. I never knew how to back up my posts, but when I went to the Settings on my platform (Typepad), there it was. (Thanks Liz!) I clicked Export and downloaded all my posts and all their comments to my computer (the photos didn't come along) and started reading. It was like falling down an endless well. On and on I followed my own thoughts into the past.
Now that I have come up for air, my strongest feeling is gratitude for the people who take the time to read what I write and for the kind, insightful responses they invariably offer. What a treasure! I am newly inspired to post regularly and do my part so that our cyber network doesn't fall apart. I would be truly sad to lose this lovely and loving community. Thank you all so much.
Another gift my blog has offered is the perspective of time. Its like a scrapbook or photo album of these last years. Not complete, of course, because many things don't seem appropriate or interesting when I try to write, and some big events were just too overwhelming to dwell on here, but still, the semi-methodical effort of writing something at frequent intervals forms a disconcerting and poignant mosaic when one looks back. Its a little like hearing someone talk about you behind your back, except its you that is talking.
Reviewing what I have written over eleven years (!!) shows me the strength of my interest in textiles and tables, which hasn't lessened at all in that time. I am surprised at how often I have attempted to articulate why I am so enthralled because it seems like I can't quite wrap my head around what I am doing and feel always that some key element is escaping my understanding. I don't expect others to follow where I can't go myself, but clearly I have attempted to drag them along anyway. Thank you, readers, for your patience. Its good to have evidence of my own enthusiasm though, because another pattern my blog shows me is the consistency with which I get discouraged. Over and over I return to the belief that everything I do is stupid and a waste of time and over and over I decide that I have to do it anyway. I have been in just such a trough these last few months (thank goodness for Mo's project to keep me working) but seeing the evidence of past cycles reminds me that what I feel won't last forever. Its a passing phase.
So here's to blogging, long may it escape irrelevance. Keep writing on your own blogs, dear friends, and comment freely. I'll always answer here and comment back. Thanks again.