I have a large family so Thanksgiving and Christmas are often crowded, noisy events with thirty or more people. The weeks between are also full of smaller get-togethers, plus the work of creating a festive atmosphere at home for the more immediate family. Every year as the holiday crush begins to bear down I have wondered how it would be to just skip a year... to let the cooking, shopping, decorating, party planning or planning for party attendance go and have a vacation from the demands of the season.
Well.
Now I have my wish. As the pandemic stats escalated and the governor called for more and more distance, the four people I invited for a pared down Thanksgiving dinner politely withdrew and left Mike and me alone here as we almost always are these days. I am a little surprised at the grumbly feeling this has brought forth in me, even though I applaud the caution shown by my erstwhile guests. I have decided to act out my yearly fantasy and give the whole holiday a miss. There will be no turkey. I have baked no pies. Bah humbug.
In this contrarian spirit I have also made a list of things I am not grateful for:
Getting older.
I know, this is tricky because what is the alternative? Still, the physical changes, the loss of strength, vision and energy, the joint pain and the hovering worries about possible larger health issues I could do without. Also, everyone I love is getting older too and the season of funerals will be upon us soon. I am not grateful.
The degradation of our political system.
Four years of watching the decline of our democracy has been torture. The election of Joe Biden has slowed the rot, but the refusal of Republicans to accept the result and adhere to the norms of peaceful transition is deeply depressing. One of my friends said that we are now through the looking glass....it is impossible to see what will happen or to depend on the institutions we have relied upon in the past. I am not grateful.
The human propensity to fear the other
This worked for us in the past, but now it is standing in our way. We can only effectively address the problems of our time if we work together, but our instinctive fears of people different from ourselves are being cynically manipulated to keep power in the hands that currently hold it and only for the benefit of those few. I am not grateful.
Our hunger for status
Again, our innate tendency to form hierarchies is an instinct we need to moderate. Slipping down the social ladder is apparently as scary as death. We (white people) can't let those Others up for fear that we will lose our divine right to the top rung. Actually, I think white people are afraid they might be treated like they have treated others, which would be something to fear. The only antidote is to cling ever more thoroughly to the American ideal of equality for all. In the absence of that, I am not grateful.
Covid-19
Stupid pandemic. I am not grateful.
Climate change, nuclear annihilation and human short-sightedness
Aargh.
Okay, no one likes a whiner. I am a profoundly lucky person and most of the time I remember that. I am deeply grateful for my dear family, both immediate and extended, my general good health, my adorable pets and the chance to live in the most beautiful place in the world. From this bounty I wish you all a most happy Thanksgiving, whether together or apart. I am also grateful for you.