Although the rest of the country has struggled through some nasty cold spells this winter I thought we might get a pass this year after three months without even a serious frost. Nope. No longer. A week ago my fuchsia was still blooming, now it is blackening under a foot of snow. We so rarely get snow that it becomes a wonder and delight as long as it doesn't last too long. This storm is expected to pass tonight so tomorrow we will be slogging through icy slush on our way back to our usual gray normalcy. We have to enjoy it now.
Unfortunately I am at complete leisure for contemplation of the weather as I have been weathering a storm of my own. Ten days ago I went in for a routine blood test and within a few hours found myself in an ambulance on the way to Seattle with acute renal failure. It is a return of the auto-immune vasculitis I struggled with a couple of years ago, this time centered in my kidneys..... a real slap upside the head as I had no idea I was sick and still don't feel any symptoms but fatigue, and now the effects of massive doses of steroids. I am lucky not to be suffering and also to have so far avoided the kind of damage that would result in the need for dialysis or other horrid interventions, but there has been some permanent scarring and I am back on the steroid/chemotherapy treadmill it took me two years to escape the last time. I find it devastating to again be swept over this waterfall without warning. How can I prevent it in the future if I don't even know it is happening? I am going to have to cultivate radical acceptance to reach any sort of equanimity, but getting used to things is what humans do best so the outlook is bright. I am very fortunate and I am trying to remember that.
In the meantime....snow. Oh yeah, and Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day everyone.