Raven and Sparrow

Autumn angst

This tablecloth has been a bear. I have undone it, lost sleep over it, experimented with it and finally finished it. I think I just had to say "Enough!", although I have not achieved the level to which I aspired. When I added the borders the first time I thought they were too much....that the edges drew the eye more than the leaves. I thought more darks in the embroidery would balance the edges. When I tried to add darkness by embroidering both sides of the branches, it immediately calcified the lines and the design lost its airiness. I added navy blue shadows to the leaves, but after a stitching a couple a voice inside me roared "No!" so I stopped. Then I decided to make the navy border more narrow, wondering how I was going to control this finer line when I couldn't make neat edges at twice the size. I ended up attaching freezer paper to everything and sewing it all together with the paper in place. It seemed for a while that it would work (smug rejoicing), but after soaking the paper off, the seams were no straighter than the originals. I did remove the "air" around the edge of the embroidered leaves and bring the blue borders right up against them, which focuses attention where it needs to be. Overall, the colors and design are pretty much what I envisioned at the beginning, so this is not a failure, but I want my finish work to enhance, not compromise my designs. For now, though, I'm done.

Return of the bete noir

I am so close. After all the dyeing, painting and embroidery, the autumn cloth for Lynne...the last one... is almost done. I always planned for a an inset border of navy blue to match the undercloth, with an outer border of something....the something finally resolving itself as more of the gray blue background color. I had to dye more linen and used the same dye formula, but fabric from a different company. It took the dye more strongly and less evenly than I was expecting so I didn't get a match, but I thought it would be okay. Now I am struggling to sew all of these strips together (straight please!) and produce nice looking mitred corners. I always, always have trouble with this. Why can't I sew lines without wibble wobbles? It isn't as though I'm being sloppy with measuring or marking. Deep sigh.

Now that I have put the borders on and stepped back, I'm thinking they may be too much. The outer gray will have to stay, but the navy blue is too thick.... maybe even unnecessary. I will increase the gray blue embroidery on the branches to bring more dark into the main panel. Since I have to take everything apart anyway, why not? I'm not as close as I thought.

Cleaning up and taking stock

I've been cleaning up my studio because I'm a messy worker and things had reached a crisis state. I am hugely fortunate to have the old summer house to use as my workplace. The space is generous and you can't beat the view. However the building is completely porous to wildlife so I have to protect against mice and insects. Also, the bats are back. When you see mouse poop sticking to the windows it isn't Mighty Mouse, its bats. When we were living in the house we sealed every place we thought a bat could slip through and succeeded in keeping them out, but apparently they have found a new entrance. The spiders have never been deterred. The other day I reached for my sewing basket and found it encased in webs by some arachnid yarn bomber. It was time to sweep out.

I've been plunking away at it for a week and progress is being made, but my enthusiasm is low. Usually cleaning up offers its own reward and once begun I won't stop until its done, but this job just isn't fun. Part of the problem is the endless decisions that must be made about past, present and future projects. Cleaning the studio means confronting and asssessing what I am making and why. I am not only airing the room, but my psyche, and all my insecurities are coming out with the dust.

It doesn't help that I am almost done with Lynne's table....coming to an end always makes me question my direction. I'm worried that what I've spent all this time making is mediocre crap... or maybe its just useless. Like who gives a rat's ass about tablesetting anyway? It is easily dismissed as a frivolous indulgence, subject to fashion, showing off and over consumption. I go on Pinterest and review table after lovely table, none of which is actually replicable by me or anyone else and wonder if I am just doing more of the same, only less well with bad photographs. I remind myself that I'm not making pictures, I'm making sacred spaces, but that seems presumptuous, especially when I try to do it for other people like I'm doing now. I haven't yet penetrated the surface and the voice inside says that I never will. Another voice says that the surface is all that there is.

And so... the doubts dart through my head like bats as I sort through the residue of months of work, but what can I do but go on?  If tablesetting is a stupid waste of time, then my time will be stupidly wasted. This is my path, I have no other. Another part of me knows that everything is a door. 

 

 

A woven edge

Sitting in the ultra clear light at 35,000 feet for two five and a half hour plane rides gave me lots of time to embroider. I made good progress on the two cloths for Lynne; the butterfly runner is almost done. I always planned for navy blue edges, but commercial edge binding looked cheesy and was slightly too light in color. I decided the only way to match the navy blue butterflies I had added to the pattern was to continue embroidering with that thread. I did a tight blanket stitch down both sides and it was okay, but a little rougher finish than I was hoping for. Then I realized that the horizontal stitches were like a warp and that thread could be woven lengthwise as well. This idea came out of Jude Hill's Considering Weave, and was new to me, although my embroidery stitch book is full of woven stitches...so it is not at all original. It is coming out pretty well and I am looking forward to having this cloth done.

Needing navy blue

After embroidering everything I planned on the butterfly cloth I stood back and it was clear: More Navy Blue Needed. Now, how should it be applied? I spent a week trying out various possibilities, thinking maybe just fields of running stitch or small dots or spirals or or or..... nothing really worked. Finally I thought, "How about more butterflies?" and when I tried that it seemed okay. So, lots more embroidery. Adding the patterns for the new navy butterflies turned out to be pretty hard. Even on my light table it was difficult to see through the colors on the cloth and mark them clearly. 

Autumn threads

I am back to camping out on Mike's laptop, separated from Photoshop and my library of pictures. I hope it won't be forever. 

After letting the autumn leaf cloth sit for a while I took it down to our local thread store and pawed through the various choices in embroidery floss. I always enjoy playing with threads, and this time was no exception.  I usually use very fine embroidery ( one or two strands of floss), but this time I was drawn to the heavier perle cottons. I came home with a handfull of lovely colors, but when I began to experiment with them I quickly realized I only needed two. I am going to outline all of the leaves in the wheaty-gold color because it reminds me of the rim of light you see when you stand under a tree and look up through its backlit leaves. Also I think what I didn't  like about my painted leaves was the color variation. This will help pull them all back together. The grey-blue, which looks very close to the decorative flourishes on the dishes will shadow the stems and I hope it won't be too much. I tried a number of types of stitches but fell back upon my tried and true stem stitch...the one my mother taught me in second grade. Now I know what to do, but just need to do it. That will take a while.

 

Stitch and stitch

The butterflies are half embroidered. That is, one end has been taken as far as I think it should go and the other half has not been started. It is a good chance to assess how well the embroidery enhances and supports the dyed images. I was expecting to use more navy blue, but it never worked as anything but a shadow line on the butterflies. The french knots may change too. I think they add to the piece but I didn't plan for them and it shows. Maybe more would help.. or fewer. I'll see how they look on the other end.

What about autumn?

With the butterfly runner under embroidery my thoughts have turned to autumn, the only season left for Lynne's table. Actually, I'd been turning ideas over for quite a while when Susan started her leaf project, which finally kicked me into gear. It isn't exactly like hers, of course, but leaves are leaves. As I worked on the butterfly runner the leaf cloth was also taking shape. The pattern is my old Japanese maple leaf pattern slightly shrunk. My plan was/is to wax out the leaves, dip dye the cloth in logwood gray, over dye in indigo to achieve white leaves on a gray blue background, then use fabric paints to introduce warm autumn colors onto the leaves. All of that has happened pretty much like I planned, but I am not happy. The thrill is gone. I'm not sure its going to work. Maybe too much red on the leaves or something. Sigh. I planned to embroider it of course, but....Should I abandon it and think of something else? I am letting it sit for now, hoping a new inspiration will strike.

Wax off

The wax is off the butterflies, but it wasn't easy. Three straight days of simmering and then cooling, and still it was heavy with wax. I was trying to avoid using water glass in the bath because it can really pull the color out with the wax, but my resolve was weakening. Re-reading my wax removal instructions (gathered from several sources) I noticed a method I had never tried before....kerosene. I had shied away from using it because of the smell and worry over soaking my cloth in petroleum.  The instructions said to dissolve soda ash in kerosene and hold the fabric in it overnight before dipping it in water glass. The trouble was, the soda ash would not dissolve. I tried heating the kerosene, but absolutely lost my nerve when it started to get hot. How dumb am I to put kerosene on a burner? I turned it off. The soda ash was clumped solidly in the bottom of the kettle, but I put the fabric in anyway and left. The next morning, no more wax. The smell was daunting, but it washed out after three soap and water scrubs and the value of the colors held really well.

The indigo got a little grayer and the background is much greener overall than I expected. I want to introduce some navy blue, but will have to do it with embroidery.

Indigo butterflies

I've dipped the butterfly runner in indigo twice: once for ten seconds and again for forty seconds. In between I waxed over the little butterflies that used to be white so now they will be light blue. The wax retained its integrity this time, unlike the trial piece, so the butterflies should be yellow and white mostly. Lots of wax on....now it needs to come off. This is NOT my favorite part but I am looking forward to what will be revealed when the wax is gone. How close will it come to my original vision? How will it work for Lynne's table? What else is needed to make it sing? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode.